Waiting In Vain
by Luella
Summary: Meredith gives Derek the one thing Addison could not.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I always though it was weird that Addison and Derek never had any kids in their eleven years together.

Pairing: MerDer

Disclaimer: Grey's unfortunately doesn't belong to me.

Meredith groaned clutching her blanket to her naked chest. 'Wait, why am I naked?' she thought, her eyes fluttering open taking in her surroundings. She was met with a pounding headache and a masculine thigh draped across her body quite possessively. The bitter taste in her mouth was most definitely tequila. Once again, Meredith had had too many shots of her favorite poison earning her the unpleasant experience of waking up to a complete stranger. On top of that this strangers cell phone had begun to ring incessantly and it would surely wake up her roommates supplying a very embarrassing morning.

"Meredith! Can you please answer the goddamn phone! It's driving us crazy…" Izzie shouted as she entered the room, trailing off as she noticed who was beside Meredith in bed.

"Oh my god." She whispered as Meredith looked over her shoulder catching a glimpse of dark curly hair.

"What the fuck! Derek!" she yelled punching his arm.

"Ow. What was that for?" he asked adjusting his eyes to the light as the ringing of his cell went on. "Meredith." He whispered taking in her disheveled hair and swollen lips. Derek's head whipped back to where Izzie was standing mouth wide up.

"Answer the phone." She said getting up and wrapping her bed sheet around her body.

"Meredith we should talk-"

"Answer the phone!" They yelled in unison. Derek swallowed hard and groped around in his coat pocket for the cell. The caller id flashed the one name that he didn't need to deal with at the moment.

"Well who is it?" Meredith asked. His hand flew to his temple massaging it trying to stop that throbbing pain he felt whenever Addison and Meredith were brought up in the same conversation.

Meredith must have picked up on this and said, "Its Addison isn't it." If Derek's head could drop any lower in shame it did as he nodded.

"Then you she call her back. Your _wife_ should know where you are." She looked at him pointedly and padded into the bathroom squeezing herself between Izzie and the doorway.

"When Meredith gets out of the shower you won't be here. You know the way out." Izzie said coldly closing the door.

"He took advantage of you. You were vulnerable and drunk and you were wearing that really slutty mini skirt." Izzie whispered into Meredith's ear as she clutched her coffee mug. Meredith nodded mutely staring off into the distance.

"God if I didn't know any better I would think that Derek dumped you twice." Cristina said joining them. She clipped her curly hair into a barrette keeping it out of her face. George, Izzie, and Meredith tensed visibly.

"Seriously! When were you even going out with him again for him to dump you?"

"They weren't." George answered. "He picked her up at a Joe's."

"He picked you up Joe's?" Cristina hissed. "Talk about deja vous." She murmured as Bailey rounded the corner.

"Okay people let's start our rounds, and no dawdling today I'm not in the mood. If one man falls behind don't go trying to pick him up." She said in her classical Nazi tone.

"You wanna know the worst part?" Meredith said not necessarily to any one.

"What?" Izzie asked linking arms with her.

"I don't think we even used protection."

"God I really want in on this surgery." Cristina moaned as she viewed the chart of a patient while she and Meredith waited for the elevator. The sounds of a heated argument got closer as Derek and Addison approached the elevator.

"So you mean to tell me that during all that time when I was calling your cell, worried that you were on the side of the road with your spleen hanging out of your body, you were keeping your little interns bedside warm?" Addison hissed.

"Addy, keep your voice down." He said taking a quick look around to see the small crowd that had gathered.

"No Derek, I promised to move out here to Seattle and you promised to give up your girlfriend." She yelled.

"Well now you know how it feels." He blurted out.

"So that's what it was revenge." Addison replied softly choking back tears. "Are you ever gonna forgive me for what I've done?"

"They say time heals all wounds, maybe this one's just to deep." He said walking away from her. Addison put her face in her hands crying uncontrollably as the entire floor looked on. Meredith fished a clean Kleenex out of her lab coat pocket and approached her.

"God what do _you_ want?" she said as she acknowledged Meredith's presence. Silently she handed her the tissue. Addison accepted the token and nodded gratefully at her as Meredith walked back to the elevator.


	2. Chapter 2

For some reason Meredith held out that little hope that this would be the final wedge that pulled the Shepherds apart. However for some reason it made their relationship stronger. Derek and Addison could now be found holding hands as they entered the hospital. Derek kissed her whenever he passed her in the hall way and whenever they got of elevators together there was always a smudge of her ruby red lipstick on his mouth. It seems Derek's little infidelity had been the nudge they needed to reevaluate their lives together and their reason for trying to stick it out. So now Meredith moped around the hospital running labs checking charts and occasionally scrubbing in on Burke's surgery since Addison had her black listed to any of Derek's surgeries. He barely spoke to her now. All of their witty banter and flirting had ceased. Whenever he passed her in the hall way he gave her a curt nod "Doctor Grey." He'd say and be on his way. Since the incident Meredith had sworn off tequila and picking up random guys at Joe's, rarely even venturing out to share a coke with Izzie, George, and Cristina. So far, in her short stay at Seattle Grace Hospital, she had become the intern who was sleeping with the attending and the intern who had slept with the married attending who was trying to work out his marriage. Meredith was still an amazing surgical intern, she even found herself being praised by the chief more, maybe he was trying to downplay her love life and try and get everyone to focus on her thriving career.

"I'll give her one thing," Cristina said as she ate her salad in the cafeteria, "I would not be able to handle all the whispers and constant chattering."

"She's holding up the best she can Yang." Alex said. Surprisingly he had been very supportive and protective of Meredith after the affair.

"Look's like evil spawn found himself a heart." Cristina commented.

"We've gotta do something. I mean, she's a shell of the person she used to be." George whispered ripping his banana peel open.

"Hey guys." She said as she placed her tray down next to George.

"Hey Mer." They all said in the sympathetic voices. She rolled her eyes opening up a magazine and reading.

"Mer you look a little pale. Are you ok?" Izzie asked. Meredith did look pale as if she had been throwing up.

"I'm fine I just have a bug." She said. Izzie raised her eyebrows in a questioning manner.

"What?"

"Nothing, you just look a little shitty. That's all I'm saying."

"Thanks. You guys have all been great but I'm a grown woman fully capable of taking care of myself. So if I say I'm fine, I am." She received a few shrugs and "okays" and went back to reading her magazine.

"Oh god what is that smell?" she asked George as he held up his tuna fish sandwich.

"Ugh, tuna." She murmured making a beeline for the bathroom. Izzie and George got up but Cristina motioned for them to sit back down.

"I got it." She said racing off in the same direction as Meredith.

Meredith was slumped over the toilet seat emptying out her breakfast as Cristina knocked on the door. She opened the bathroom stall noting that it was the exact same wheelchair stall that she had taken her pregnancy tests in.

"Why is it that pregnant chicks always want to lock themselves in the larger stalls?" Cristina asked.

"What?"

"Your pregnant dumb ass. The nausea, the hormones, the change in your body. I was pregnant once too you know." She said taking a seat next to Meredith.

"Do you think the rest of them know." She asked quietly.

"No there're completely clueless. They bought that whole 'virus' story you fed them."

Meredith wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, "What am I gonna do?" Cristina shrugged.

"Now I'll be known as the pregnant-intern-mistress." She sighed.

"Meredith we really need to talk about this." Izzie said shouting at the bathroom door Meredith had locked herself into.

"Yeah Meredith please come out of there." George added.

"No my surgical career is over." She shouted from the inside.

"Meredith, there are plenty of pregnant interns, you'll just be banned from x-rays and strenuous surgeries." Izzie tried.

"So you've told Bailey and the Chief?" George said. The door opened revealing Meredith. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying she had done, but still she was gorgeous. Motherhood definitely agreed with Meredith Grey.

"Yeah I told them, and they decided that I wouldn't be assigned to too many hard surgeries and no x-rays." Meredith said walking into her room.

"So do they know who the father is?" George asked. Meredith shook her head.

"No, but I'm pretty sure they have a good idea."

"Hey Mer I was um, reading up on Lamaze classes and they have some pretty good ones in the area. So George, Cristina, and I were thinking that we could you know all check 'em out together. You know, we could go in alternating rounds." Izzie offered rubbing Meredith's back.

"Thanks you guys." Over the next few weeks, surprisingly, the news of Meredith's pregnancy didn't spread. However the changes of her body were obvious. Her usually svelte body started to fill out and her breasts began to swell. If anything some thought that she was putting on a little pity weight. She hardly ever worked with the Shepherds but found herself working with Derek on Sara Michaels's case, a toddler with an aneurysm.

"Good morning, Mr. And Mrs. Michaels. I'm Dr. Shepherd I'll be Sara's doctor and this is Dr. Grey she'll be assisting me." He said avoiding her gaze.

"Hey there sweetheart." Derek said bending down to Sara's level. The little girl was painfully shy and buried her face into her mother's jacket.

"Its okay sweetie, Dr. Grey is just gonna run you down for some x-rays." Derek rubbed a finger against the toddler's cubby cheek garnering a laugh.

"Dr. Grey, you better stay with her throughout the duration of the x-ray. Keep her calm." He addressed her, his eyes never leaving his patient's chart.

"I can't." Meredith blurted out. The Michael's looked to her with looks of confusion.

"And why can't you?" he asked in an annoyed fashion. A tone of voice Derek had never used with her ever.

"Because," she said blinking back her growing tears. "I'm pregnant."

Derek's head snapped up, his blue eyes met her piercing green ones and softened visibly.

"Oh Meredith." He said as she left the room in a hurry.


	3. Chapter 3

"Doctor Bailey I need to be reassigned to a new patient." Meredith said as she approached the resident.  
"Why?"

"Because the doctor wanted me to do x-rays and I can't." she explained.

"Okay you can do sutures with Alex." She said walking off.

"Meredith, wait." Derek yelled running down the corridor. Meredith started walking faster not wanting a confrontation.

"How far along are you?" he asked as he caught up to her.

Despite her better judgment she answered, "Three months," and walked a little faster.

"Three months ago we had sex." He grabbed her stopping her from moving any farther.

"Yeah, and I'm taking care of it."

"Are you gonna…"

"God no." She paused weighing her options. "I'm thinking of adoption."

"No, Meredith I'm gonna be apart of this child's life. So any major decisions we make together."

"_We_? What _we_? There stopped being a _we_ once you chose her over me."

"Have you been to the gyno, scheduled some appointments?"

"George, Izzie, Cristina, and surprisingly Alex have been very helpful. They are there for me when I need them. Unlike some people I can think of." She bit back.

"I have a wife Meredith." Derek said rubbing the bridge of his nose with his index finger and his thumb.

"Stop reminding me, I already know. Or do you have to keep reminding yourself? God, you should see the way you two walk around flaunting your newfound love. Its quite disgusting."

Meredith said wiggling out of his grasp.

"Forget about Addison right now we are talking about the baby. I want to be involved in his or her life."

"I don't even want the baby Derek!" she shouted, heads turning to look at her. "I don't need a constant reminder of you or the life we could have had."

"Than give it to me." Addison said. Standing in the middle of the hallway, her hands thrust in the lab coat pockets.

"What?" Meredith exclaimed turning to look at her.

"So you are gonna have this baby and then give it to the Shepherds?" Izzie asked as the four of them watched one of Ellis's surgeries.

"Yeah it seems like the most logical decision." Meredith replied in a monotone voice. She raised her glass cup to her lips taking a sip of the cool water, she let an ice cube pass into her mouth and crunched on it nosily.

"No I think its stupid. Really, really stupid." George answered absentmindedly tearing the paper off his water bottle.

"Ow!" he yelled as Cristina hit him in the head.

"I mean, I don't want the baby and Derek and Addison do. It all makes sense." Meredith nodded trying to convince herself.

"But think about how you'll feel when you see the three of them in the hospital living the life you essentially could have had?" Izzie pointed out softly.

"She already has my life. She's got my dog, my boyfriend, why not my baby." She answered miserably getting up from the couch. The next day Meredith met with Derek and Addison to discuss the adoption.

"Meredith," Addison started gently, "I think this would be extremely beneficial to the baby. Derek and I have decided to build a house on our land. A real home. He or she would have two loving parents to take of it instead of one." Meredith stared at her New Balance's; she had just gotten them on Tuesday with Alex when she was complaining about her swollen feet. He took a look at her ratty old one's and drove her to the nearest sneaker store after her shift. Her focus moved onto her large scrubs courtesy of George and Cristina who had searched the entire hospital for the right size scrubs. She smiled wistfully as she rubbed at the fresh chocolate stain on her thigh. Izzie had made her a batch of her infamous chocolate cupcakes that Meredith had recently had a craving for and had dropped a trickle of icing on them.

"Meredith? Meredith are you listening to me?" Addison asked calmly. "This baby could have a real normal family if you allow it. She would be with her biological father and we wouldn't be to far away. We could discuss visitation, whether or not you want to be an active member in this adoption."

She looked into Addison's face it was so apparent that she wanted this. Derek as usual couldn't look Meredith in the eye, his head hung in shame as Addison continued in the proposal.

"Listen, Meredith I know this is a lot to ask of you. But in a way you've saved my marriage. Without you we wouldn't have been able to work through our problems and build up a healthy communication." She turned back and reached out for Derek's hand. When he let her hand slip into his own Meredith lost it, letting a lone tear run down her face.

"I could never give my husband the family he desperately wanted but with your help you can make that dream a reality for us." Meredith shook her head the tears falling freely.

"What about you, you haven't even said one word." She threw her comment at Derek. He looked up at her, his eyes were sad and tired so unlike him. He shrugged smiling sadly not knowing what to say to his former pregnant girlfriend. Despite Meredith's current lethargic state she was more beautiful than ever. It was true what they said about motherhood, it gave you that glow Derek thought.

"This is so much to ask of you but I really want you to think it over. We would definitely help you out during the entire pregnancy-"

"I already have a support group you know." She cut in, anger rising in her voice. "And their names are Izzie, Cristina, George, and Alex. Yes even Alex." She said to the surprised looks on their faces.

"They have been bending over backwards to make sure that I'm okay. Running out at all odd hours of the night to get me avocados and watermelons that aren't even in season. Rubbing my back when it aches and massaging my feet when my arches start killing me, okay the massages are mainly just George. They've been the perfect spouses. So don't you dare tell me that I wouldn't have anyone to help me through this pregnancy if I decline your offer to take _my_ baby off _my_ hands? You know what? Fuck it! I'm so tired of walking around here on eggshells for being the pregnant mistress-intern. I am pregnant for God sakes! This should be a celebration of life. It might be your baby and your husbands baby but my God I'm gonna shout it from the rooftops that I have succeeded in procreating. No longer will I endure the silly whispers from the scrub nurses and the other interns. I am the daughter of Ellis Grey, a world-renowned surgeon, and if I do say so myself I'm a pretty kickass surgeon too. So no, no to your offer, I'm gonna keep my baby. Yeah I'm gonna keep my baby." She exclaimed and moved as fast as she could out of the room.

"Madonna," Izzie said taking a sip of her coffee, "The great one." She sighed smiling at Cristina.

"Yep, Meredith's back." She smirked as they grabbed their charts to meet up with her.


	4. Chapter 4

"I was a little harsh don't you think?" Meredith asked as she bit into her apple sitting on one of the abandoned carts next to the vending machines. She was met with a collective group of 'no's. "Technically she just wanted to help me out right?"

"Come on Mer, she took your dog, she took your McDreamy, so why not top of the cake with the icing that is you baby." Cristina stated. "I heard the word on the street is that she's practically infertile." She added thumbing through her medical dictionary.

"Besides Mer, did you really want her raising your baby?" George said in between bites of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"No."

"This is so great now we can start thinking of themes for the nursery." Izzie clapped happily Alex rolled his eyes and grasped her thigh.

"Ew, Alex, I'm talking about babies." She said grabbing his hand and removing it from her leg.

"You guys do realize that this means late night feeding sessions, midnight crying for attention sessions, anything to wake mommy up sessions?" she asked putting a maternal hand on her stomach.

"We know we'll take the good and the bad. Or we'll just go chill out at Burke and Cristina's."

George joked receiving a crumpled up piece of paper at his head.

"Uncalled for." He shouted wheeling himself against the wall.

"Have you made an appointment yet?" Derek asked. Meredith looked up noticing his presence. He was giving her one of his cocky McDreamy smiles.

"Yeah, its actually tomorrow." She answered.

"Great what time?"

"What do you mean 'what time'? It's really not your responsibility." She stated.

"Meredith, things may not have worked out with Addison and the adoption but this baby is still my child and I deserve a right to be in his of her's life. So what time is the appointment?" he asked firmly ignoring the daggers Cristina and Izzie were shooting at him.

"Its at two, don't be late." She said getting up from her cot with great difficulty. She passed by him and he turned to see her out.

"God he's totally still into her." Izzie sighed.

"So this is your first I take it." Dr. Ramirez said as she checked Meredith's chart. She smiled warmly at Meredith as she tired to make herself comfortable.

"Yeah, I'm a newbie." Meredith smiled. She checked her watch it was twenty minutes passed two. He was late.

"Is it just you or is someone joining you?" she asked taking a look at her bare ring finger.

"No the father should be here any minute." Just on cue Derek came through the door running a hand through his curly hair.

"I'm so sorry. My ten o'clock ran a little longer than I thought it would." He said making his way to Meredith's side. He was still dressed in his scrubs and looked like he hadn't slept but he still looked great, like McDreamy.

"What have I missed?" he asked smiling charmingly.

"Nothing to important. I was just about to apply the gel to do the sonogram. Okay now Meredith this is gonna be cold." She applied the cloudy substance to her protruding stomach.

"How's it look Doctor?" Derek asked rubbing her back absentmindedly in a comforting manner.

"It all looks pretty good would you like to know the sex?"

"Yes." Meredith answered quickly. Derek gave her a puzzled look. "Izzie wants to know what color to paint the nursery." She explained.

"You know I'm still moving out of the trailer. I'm still going on with the plans to build a house." He told her awaiting her reaction.

"That's great she'll have to homes to grow up in."

"She?" he asked looking back at the monitor.

"Sorry I peeked." She offered to Dr. Ramirez.

"Not to worry about. I'll give you two some time alone." She said leaving the room.

"We're having a girl."

"We're having a girl." She repeated smiling happily. "Does Addison know you're here?"

"Yeah I told her this morning." Meredith looked away. "She's just gonna have to get use to the fact that you and this baby are gonna be apart of my life." He dropped a kiss to her temple and stroked the bangs out her eyes. He looked into here yes and for a split second Meredith swore she could have seen the love she had for him mirrored in his face.

"Why don't you just leave her?" She asked straight up. Derek paused looking at her thoughtfully. "If there's ever a better time you should do it now. She'd understand."

"I've thought of it but I can't." Derek gave her a sad smile, one he was becoming famous for. "You see there's still tiny chance we might be able to work this out." Meredith nodded as her tears started to fall. "Until we've exhausted every possible option to help our marriage I can't give up on her." He answered simply.

Meredith watched Derek stride across the room to the nurses station checking the charts of some of his patients. For some reason until now she had never noticed the strong muscles in his back. Or the way he walked around with his own brand of cockiness and charm, he was like the rock star of surgeons. So it was pretty accurate to say that Dr. Derek Shepherd was seriously turning Meredith on. It had been so long since she had had sex and desperately needed some now.

"See this is where being with the man your having a baby with comes in handy." She whispered to Cristina. "I am so horny." She exclaimed earning a smirk from her friend. "And the weird thing is, I'm only horny for Derek. Like he's a freakin' craving or something." She said working on her post op notes.

"Well… go get yours." She said nudging her in his general direction.

Across from the nurses station Derek had been sneaking glances as his pregnant ex. Meredith looked fantastic today. Despite being five months pregnant she still managed to look sexy in her large scrubs and maternity wear. He had to feel guilty that he was lusting over his very pregnant ex the way he never lusted after his own wife. Maybe it was the thought they had created a life together and she was proudly walking about the hospital carrying _his _child. Now she was making her way over to him wringing her small ineffectual wrists.

"Hey can I talk to you?" she asked indicating an empty closet.

"Sure." He guided her with his hand on the small of her back.

He closed the door to the room and turned back to face her. "So what do you wanna talk about?" he could barely get his sentence out as Meredith threw herself on him showering kisses all over his face.

"Meredith! Mer!" he said grabbing her shoulders and pulling her away from his betraying body. Just the momentary feel of her body flush against his made him excited.

"You said that if I ever needed anything from you during this pregnancy you would do it for me. Correct?" He nodded trying to regain his composure.

"Well, I need sex. Mommy's horny." She exclaimed kissing him squarely on the mouth.

"Meredith, I can't help you with that." He said in between kisses.

"Oh, that's funny cause your body says otherwise." Meredith giggled reaching down between them and cupping his growing erection.

"Meredith!" he groaned jumping away from her completely. Seeing the look on his face she quickly sobered up and backed away.

"I'm sorry, its just that…look at me. No one would want me. I'm a huge whale waddling around here like a fucking penguin. And to top it off I am in desperate need of some sex, but not just sex from any man, sex from you. It's like I have a craving for you, like your chocolate or peanuts."

"God this is so complicated." He sighed. "I know I promised to help you feel comfortable in any way possible but not this way. I just can't do that. But it's not because of the way you look." He quickly added when he saw the insecurity in her face. "Because if anything, you are more beautiful than ever now. And you don't waddle around you glide. Gracefully." He smiled stroking her cheek and leaving the closet.


	5. Chapter 5

"How does a marriage survive a pregnant mistress?" Izzie asked frosting a cake in the kitchen.

"Beats me. What do you think Mallory?" Meredith asked her tummy. It had grown considerably as she reached her eight-month mark.

"Mallory." Izzie tried. "I like it, that's a keeper." She cut a slice for Meredith and herself and joined her at the table.

"Have you ran that by Derek?"

"Yeah, this morning. We had a little moment." She smiled wistfully. Derek had come by earlier this morning to check up on her and the baby. He brought her Terra Chips, carrot juice, and a stack of Cosmopolitans and Parenting magazines.

"He came in and said 'How are my two favorite girls?'" Izzie nodded thoughtfully taking a bite of her cake.

"If that doesn't prove that he is still into you I don't know what does."

"You know what, for once I would love to have a conversation that isn't driven by Derek. So how was work today?" Meredith asked.

"Oh great! I got this case where this woman had come back from the Amazon or something and this insect buried its eggs inside her cheek so we had to remove it before it hatched. Amazing and disgusting all at the same time."

"Lovely."

"What did you do all day?" Izzie asked.

"Well I watched a little TV, got up to pee, watched some of my mother's surgeries, then got up to pee some more-"

"Okay I get it your day sucked." Izzie laughed. "Well I can tell you something that will make you feel better. Derek came up to me and asked me to take a look at a gift he bought you." Izzie exclaimed getting up to get them glasses of milk.

"What? Derek got me a gift?" she asked turning around the best she could in her chair.

"Yep, but I swore I wouldn't tell you so I won't."

"You're right. See, the conversation has gotten back to him." Meredith exclaimed taking another bite of cake.

"God Mer, how did you get so lucky. You're having a baby with a gorgeous neurosurgeon who completely adores you; he's building a house for the sole purpose of you and the baby, and despite being bedridden your surgical career is taking off very nicely."

"I am not lucky. That house he's building is not just for Mal, and me but also for his and Addison's future babies." She pointed out.

"There aren't going to be any future babies, Addison can't have children, remember? It kind of makes me feel bad for her." She handed Meredith her glass and joined her at the table. Meredith nodded thoughtfully bringing the glass to her lips but was overcome with a weird wet sensation in her abdomen.

"Mer? Meredith?" Izzie asked taking note of the painful grimace on her face.

"I think my water just broke." She said putting her glass down.

"George!" Izzie yelled helping Meredith up. "Let's go have this baby."

"Yeah, let's."

* * *

"How far along are you dilated?" George asked walking into her room with a cup full of ice chips.

"I don't know George why don't you check." Meredith snapped rearranging the pillows behind her back. George shrugged and after handing the cup to her went to check himself.

"George!" Izzie and Meredith shouted.

"Sorry." He murmured standing as far as possible from Meredith.

"Where's Derek?" she asked out loud as another contraption rippled through her body.

"I paged him twice and Cristina is looking for him personally. If he doesn't get here soon do you want me or George to go into delivery with you?" she asked holding her hand as Meredith held on tightly.

"Mmm hmm." She nodded squeezing her eyes shut.

"Don't worry I'm sure that probably won't happen. He'll be here."

"Unless Addison stops him from coming." She said quietly.

"Here have some ice chips, don't think about it." Izzie said dabbing the sweat from her forehead.

"George make yourself useful and go find…someone." Izzie directed at him as he left the room.

"Izzie you know how you said that it felt like it was me and Cristina over here?" Izzie nodded as Meredith grabbed for her hand. "It's not." She said letting a tear drop.

"It's okay Mer," Izzie whispered.

"Dr. Shepherd!" George shouted as he spotted him with his wife.

"What's up O'Malley?" he asked turning to face him. Addison continued their conversation despite their interruption.

"Um Derek we really need to decide on what color the house should be. I already hired the painters and they need to know if we have a theme made or if they'll need to mix a custom color." Addison pressed.

"Okay why don't you figure that one out Addy it's your forte." He smiled redirecting his attention to the fidgeting intern.

"You were saying George."

"It's Meredith." He blurted out trying to catch his breath.

"What's wrong?"

"She's, she's gone into labor."

"Oh there you are." Cristina said as she ran up to Derek. "Meredith's in labor."

"It's only been eight months! Why wasn't I paged?" he asked anger in his voice. He checked his pager.

"I paged you like six times." Cristina scoffed. Derek ran a hand through is hair and sprinted off in the direction of Peds.

"Can you believe that those two are gonna be parents of some innocent kid?" Cristina asked leaning against the counter. "They are gonna fuck that kid up big time." She laughed as George nudged her with his elbow. Addison sighed debating whether or not to follow her husband.

* * *

"Hey Richard." Addison smiled poking her head into his office.

"Addy come in." he said looking up from some documents. "So to what do I owe this visit." He asked as she took a seat pulling her long radiant red hair off of her shoulders.

"Oh nothing." She paused looking off into the distance. "Meredith Grey is having her baby."

"Wow that's amazing. Wait she's only eight months pregnant. What about the baby?"

"I checked her chart, it shouldn't be a big problem she may have some jaundice but other that that it should be okay." Addison reassured him. She laughed quietly to herself shaking her head.

"What?"

"Mallory. That's what Derek told me they were going to name her. Cute name."

Richard reached for her hand, "You'll have your chance." He told her.

"No! No I won't. Derek's perfectly fertile, as you can see, and I have a barren womb. You know, when I took neo-natal as my specialty I never thought I wouldn't be able to have a child myself. It's been really hard watching all these women come to me with their preemies and multiple pregnancies and know that I might never get that opportunity to be a worried mother." She laughed again pushing some hair out of her face.

"Our lives are going to be so complicated Richard when this child is born."


	6. Chapter 6

"Meredith, how are you holding up?" Derek asked as he entered her room. He rushed to her side taking the towel from Izzie and giving her a grateful smile.

"Where the hell have you been?" she shouted as she clutched his hand painfully as another contraction came.

"I hope you don't intend on kissing our child with a mouth like that." He said as he kissed her quivering lips quickly.  
"I thought that maybe you changed your mind." She cried softly.

"Never." He told her stroking her back.

"How far are her contractions?" he asked Izzie.

"Um there're about two minutes apart. Maybe she should start pushing." She suggested.

"Yeah that sounds about right. Where's Dr. Ramirez?" he asked Izzie.

"She stepped out but I'll go get her." She ran out of the room in search of her doctor.

"Okay Mer you can do this. I'll be right here by your side." He promised kissing her temple and rubbing slow circles on her back.

"I love you Derek." She whispered grasping onto his hand as her contraction came again.

He nodded mutely, unable to talk.

George, Izzie, Cristina, and Alex stood outside the delivery room anxiously awaiting the arrival of Meredith and Derek's child.

"I think she's gonna have Mer's dry sense of humor." Izzie said sipping her coffee.

"I think she's gonna have Shepherd's amazing hair." Cristina snorted.

"She'll definitely have her sex appeal." Alex added earning a few stares.

"No, she'll be beautiful like Mer." George said.

"Mallory's gonna be like this beautiful uber surgeon with two gorgeous parents." Izzie pointed out.

"Any update." Bailey asked approaching her interns.

"Nope." George answered picking at his nails.

"Then there _are_ some other patients you could be helping." She exclaimed handing Cristina and Izzie some charts. "O'Malley go check up on 4112 and Karev go get the trauma patient in the pit." The four of them looked back at one another debating whether or not to go. "Move it." Bailey yelled rolling her eyes as they quickly dispersed.

"I thought I heard some yelling out here figured it be you." Derek said pulling off his scrub bandana.

"How is she?" she asked.

"Exhausted." He sighed happily.

"Are you gonna make me ask?" Bailey said putting her hands on her waist.

"It's a girl. Seven pounds and twenty-one inches." He smiled proudly.

"You so damn stupid." Bailey muttered.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Don't get me wrong I'm happy that your baby is fine an all but what you've done is just wrong. Having an affair with the very same women you left to be with your wife, and then you go and knock her up. Meredith's become a pariah, practically black listed to anyone who disapproves of your relationship. The worst part is she's a brilliant surgeon and could become one of the best, but from now on she'll be known as that intern who slept and had a baby with a married attending. Give Meredith my best." She said walking away.

Meredith pulled her hair into a high ponytail and got out of bed to check up on Mallory. She walked slowly into the nursery and over to her crib. There, Mallory rested peacefully on her back, her tiny lips parted as she sucked at the dry air. Her tiny hands were balled into fists and tiny wisps of curly blonde hair stuck out in all directions. Meredith smiled, stroking a finger across her soft cheek. She was completely oblivious to the turmoil and chaos she had created by simply entering the world. When the doctor cleaned her off, and Derek had cut off the umbilical cord, he placed Mallory into her arms. Meredith cried, letting her emotions go. She thought of the moment she was placed in her mother's arms. Did she cry with joy at the prospect of raising a child? Was she excited to get to know this new little person she had created. Despite having a rocky relationship with her own mother Meredith vowed to never let her daughter doubt the love she had for her.

She sighed tugging at the waistband of her yoga pants that were still a little tight on her. Meredith still had some baby fat from the pregnancy but wasn't in any hurry to loose the weight. There really wasn't anyone for her to impress. After the birth Derek had driven them home and stayed over to help with the midnight crying fest and feedings. Addison, who had up until this point was hiding her indifference, was not happy with Derek spending anymore time with his new family then he had to. She called him all the time asking where he was and what time he would be coming home. Meredith advised him to just go and be with his wife. Things were still tense between them after Meredith had professed her love. Derek always knew that she still loved him but he hadn't expected her to blurt it out during labor. He was still torn between Addison and Meredith; even though he had the family he always wanted with Meredith his family was Addison. His so called life was miserable without the presence of his daughter Mallory. It was hard to believe that he was a father. After years of false pregnancies, fertility tests, and the option of adoption he was a dad. Someone was going to look up to him for protection, advice, and love for the rest of his life. All it took was ruining the reputation of a young and upcoming surgeon. Did Derek feel guilty about stringing Addison and Meredith along, yes. Every time Meredith, Addison, and himself were in the same room or passing each other by the whispers would start. Mainly they were disapproving looks directed at Meredith, like it was solely her fault for getting pregnant. Seattle Grace was a big high school drama, and the ugliest he had ever encountered. Richard tried placating him, telling him that the gossip would die down, it always did. He feared that his hot shot doctor would leave the hospital, Seattle, unable to handle the stress. But Derek promised him he wouldn't, even though he had every reason to, and only two reasons to stay.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! This chapter is rated R or M (whatever).

"Okay so here's the diaper bag, and I put three bottles in there so you should be good for the night." Meredith said as she handed all these things to Derek. He juggled the bag and Mallory as he took note of her instructions.

"And if anything comes up and you can't handle it you have my cell and Izzie's." She pushed her newly done curls off of her shoulder as she made kissy faces at her daughter. Mallory cracked up clapping her tiny hands together happily.

"So girls night out?" Derek asked indicating her hairdo.

"Yeah, me, Izzie, and Cristina." She nodded feeling ridiculous in her Dartmouth t-shirt and sweat pants.

"You look great." He stated sincerely.

"Meredith get back here I haven't finished your make-up." Izzie shouted from up stairs.

"I should go." She said kissing Mallory on the forehead and making her way to Izzie. Derek let himself out upset that she wasn't getting ready for him and that she may never be.

The girls arrived at Joe's all decked out in cocktail dresses and way too much make-up.

"I feel like one of those child pageant participates." Izzie laughed as she sipped her wine.

"Yeah, do you think the red lipstick was a little too-"

"Addison," Cristina cut in. "Yes I do." Izzie hit her arm scolding Cristina.

"She does wear red lipstick a lot." Meredith said bringing her coke to her lips. Cristina and Izzie rolled their eyes. The goal of the evening was to get Meredith out of her post-partum depression and get her mind off of Derek. She had just returned to work and was keeping long hours barely having time to spend with her daughter. Being a mother was a new job for Mer and she was having a hard time adjusting.

"Whatever, a lot of pale chicks wear red." Cristina snorted.

"I'm pale." Meredith said into her cup.

"Oh god." Cristina sighed getting up from their table. She bumped into a good-looking man in his mid thirties who was making his way to their table. "Watch where you're going." She said nudging him out of the way.

"Is she always that up beat?" he asked them as she walked away. He had short blonde hair and warm brown eyes. He had to be about six feet and had a strong physic.

"You just caught her on one of her good days." Meredith laughed noticing how attractive he was.

"Hi I'm Mike." He said putting his hand out.

"I'm Meredith and she's…"

"Taken." Izzie said shaking his hand after Meredith.

"Or Izzie as we like to call her." Meredith rolled her eyes. "So do you come here often?" she asked as he took a seat.

"No not as often as I'd like seeing that there are a ton of gorgeous women here." Mike replied smoothly making Meredith blush.

"Wow, I can't believe that worked." She laughed shaking her head. The two continued to talk and flirt with Izzie leaving the table and convincing Cristina not to bother them.

"Another one night stand? That's not gonna help her get over McDreamy, for all we know he's McDreamy part 2." Cristina exclaimed. "God we have got to find a new place to pick up guys that isn't Joe's."

Meredith soon joined the two at the bar. "What?" she asked as they kept their laughter in.

"He was a perfect gentle man and really hot."

"What did he say when you told him about your little bundle of joy?" Cristina teased.

"Nothing." Izzie and Cristina gave her skeptical looks. "Because it didn't come up."

"Mer, that's something you _make_ come up. He may not be okay with the fact that you already have a kid." Izzie pointed out. Meredith nodded and began to fish through her purse.

"What is it?" she asked Meredith.

"My phone. Hello?" she said flipping it open. "Derek? Derek? I can't hear you speak up. You know what I'll just come over." She said shutting the phone and grabbing her stuff.

"That was Derek something came up with Mallory I gotta go." She threw down a twenty and left the bar.

Meredith ran up to the trailer the best she could in her Jimmy Chou heels. She took out her keys and put her copy of Derek's into the door and opened it looking around frantically for Derek and Mallory.

"Derek?" she called out loud enough for him to hear but quiet enough that it wouldn't wake Mal, if she were sleeping.

"In here." He answered. Meredith followed his voice into his bedroom where he laid in bed with a sleeping Mallory on his chest. She would have told him how cute they looked if she wasn't so mad at him.

"What the hell? I practically got into three accidents trying to get here as fast as I could and I find you lying on your bed with my perfectly fine daughter!" she hissed gathering Mallory's things.

"No I had a legitimate reason for calling you. I ran out of breast milk, and since I don't make any and I can't carry your perfect breasts around with me I was wondering if you'd run some over. By the way you look fantastic in that little number." He was referring to the short red dress she was wearing that was barely holding her breasts in.

"Girls night out indeed." He said talking about her chest.

"Stop checking me out you dirty old man."

"Who's old?" Derek got up holding Mallory close to him. He walked into the kitchenette and placed her in the small playpen so he could talk with Meredith.

"Why did you call me?" she asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"I wanted to see you." He said taking a step closer to her.

"Where's Addison?" she asked as she watched him tense visibly.

"At the hospital, why do you think I would ask you for Mallory tonight?" he said regretting it as soon as the words left his mouth.

"So your wife hates our daughter? Figures." Meredith sighed. Derek stared at her; he completely forgot how hot she could be when she dressed up. Right know with her lithe arms crossed over her body and her mouth in an unhappy pout it was safe to say he had never been so turned on in his life. He approached her slowly afraid she would run off if he made any sudden movements.

"Motherhood turns me on." Derek said softly as he brought his lips down to hers. Too surprised to reciprocate Meredith stood still until she brought her hands to his broad chest. She moaned as his hands massaged her bottom bunching the material of her dress up further. Meredith's arms snaked up to his neck as the kiss deepened. Her lips parted as he darted his skilled tongue into her mouth mimicking the thrusts he would do to her. She wiggled against his growing erection while he buried his hands into her curls.

"God Mer," he gasped as he realized she wasn't wearing any panties and stoked her throbbing clit. The thought of Meredith not wearing her unmentionables with another man in mind made Derek mad with jealousy. He flicked at her clit again and pressed his mouth down oh hers trying to make her forget about those 'other men' and focus on him.

"Not here." She whispered pulling away from him. She nodded in the direction of their sleeping daughter. Meredith, despite her better judgment, took his hand and led him to his bedroom.

As soon as they reached his bed Derek continued their frantic kisses. He pushed her breasts easily out of her dress squeezing them gentle remembering that they were sore. He bent his head down nipping at her nipples wetting them with his salvia. Meredith groaned playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. He picked her up and placed her down on his be pulling at his sleep bottoms freeing his erection. Looking into her eyes he inserted himself into her with one swift movement. Derek looked down at Meredith, her love was so apparent in her eyes he thought she would cry. He moved against her and watched her eyes close in pleasure as she bit on her lower lip to keep from moaning out loud. His movements sped up as she reached down between them to touch herself. Derek replaced her hand with his as she came quickly; he made his final thrust as he collapsed rolling her on top of him. They were both breathing hard as he brushed her hair out of her face.

Derek pulled himself out of her missing their contact and walked to the bathroom. Meredith sat on the bed, she looked down at herself with her breasts hanging out of her dress and the material all scrunched at her waist. She did it again. She was playing the role of dirty mistress, very well. Derek came back as she was making herself presentable and crying softly.

"Mer, what's wrong?" he asked taking her face in his hands and wiping at her tears.

"I've gotta go." She replied getting out of the bed.

"Meredith wait."

"What don't you just bring Mallory to the hospital tomorrow. I'll see you." She said quietly leaving the trailer. On her way to the car she looked over at the construction on his house. It was the makings of a large two story family house that would surely be beautiful. Her tears came harder knowing she wasn't going to be the one sharing it with him.


	8. Chapter 8

"You weren't wearing any panties?" Izzie asked handing Mer a cup of orange juice.

"No, they left the most hideous panty lines." She answered. Meredith had just told Izzie about her and McDreamy's midnight rendezvous.

"Nothing good can come of this." Meredith murmured. "He cheated again on his wife. What if, I mean what if, we can all work this out and he leaves Addison. I still have to live with the thought knowing that I broke them up. That and he might cheat on me too."

"You can't think that you are the sole reason they broke up Mer. But I do think that you two have this hot cosmic love affair going on. The kind where if Derek was like 'dead' for twelve years you would still miraculously find each other. But until he finally breaks it off with Addison you shouldn't be seeing him like that. Its wrong." Izzie left her alone with her thoughts to getting ready for work.

Meredith wrapped her coat around her tighter fighting off a chilly draft in the hospital. She had just finished her shift and was going to pick Mallory up form the nursery. Luckily for Meredith she was able to bring her child to work and not be apart from her all day. She rounded the corner spotting Addison in a hushed conversation with a tall very attractive man. His hand reached out to stroke her cheek and Addison's eyes closed at his touch. She was clearly enamored with this mystery man. Meredith turned around trying to avoid an awkward moment and took a different route. For some reason seeing Addison with someone other than Derek made her happy. It made her feel less guilty about sleeping with him last night. But nothing could ever make up for what they did it. She finally reached the nursery and smiled at one of the nurses.

"Hi there." She said walking over to Mallory who was sitting up in one of the playpens giggling with her arms stretched out. Meredith picked her up grabbing her things with her and thanking the nurses. After taking a minute to put her little coat on Meredith and Mallory made their way to the car. She strapped her into the backseat. While Meredith was getting ready to pull out of the parking lot her phone rang. She answered the unfamiliar number trying to figure out who it was.

"Hello?" Meredith said.

"Hi. Meredith is that you?" the male voice replied.

"Yeah, who is this?"

The man chuckled, "It's Mike from the bar. I was wondering what you were up to tonight?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm actually busy tonight with my family." She answered driving onto the road. "Why, were you planning on asking me out?" she teased passing Mallory her pacifier.

"I was as a matter of fact. What do you say?" Mike was nice, but no McDreamy. She couldn't see herself ever really pursing a relationship with him. He was just someone who took her mind off of Derek for one night.

"I'm sorry Mike I can't. Look I'll talk with you later because I can't talk right now." She finished quickly shutting the phone off and parking her car in front of her house. If this was how Meredith's life was going to be for the rest of her life she was not to thrilled about it.

After getting Mallory settled at home she began to prepare her dinner, which consisted of strained peas and beef or something along the lines of that disgusting combination. George and Izzie wouldn't be home for a while so Meredith planed on getting Mallory ready for bed early so she could have some alone time. When the doorbell rang mid spoonful, Meredith cleaned off her hands and walked to the front door. There she found Derek with a grocery bag; he wore his track jacket and those pair of jeans that were loose but tight around his butt. She opened the door and he smiled warmly not needing an invitation to come in.

"Picked up some chicken dinners at that Italian place you love and bought some more jars of baby food for Mallory. Oh and I remembered you were almost out of some diapers so I picked some up for you." He removed his jacket going into the kitchen to find Mallory.

"Hey baby girl." He cooed taking her out of her high chair.

"Derek she hasn't finished her dinner." Meredith said as he bounced her up and down. "Fine when you're wearing her dinner on your shirt don't say I didn't warn you." She sighed opening up one of the dinners he brought. Derek ceased the bouncing and put Mallory back in her high chair.

"Why aren't you having dinner with Addison?" she asked taking a bite of a steamed carrot.

"She's having dinner with an old friend." He answered spooning some of Mallory's strained meal into his mouth. He grimaced at the pungent taste. "Ugh, how do you eat this? How do you eat this?" he asked as Mallory grabbed his nose squeezing it.

"Sure she is." Meredith muttered stabbing at her chicken parm.

"Why would you say that?" Derek asked turning to face her.

"I hate to be the one to point it out to you but you have a loveless marriage. And what you're doing, stringing the both of us along, is just wrong."

"I don't have a loveless marriage." He said turning back to Mallory.

"Oh yeah, then why are you having sex with me and not her? Why do you bring Mallory and me dinner and diapers?" Derek picked Mallory up stroking her curly blonde hair.

"It's time for her bath." He replied leaving the kitchen. Meredith sighed and continued to eat her dinner alone, like most nights.

Derek found Meredith on the couch after he put Mallory to bed. She was eating spoonfuls of ice cream and had a bottle of tequila next to her. She saw Derek standing in the doorway staring at the elephant in the room.

"My favorite pair. Tequila and ice cream, rocky road preferably." Derek scooped the bottle up noticing it was unopened.

"There's no room for that in my life." She answered her eyes never leaving the television. He sighed taking a seat next to her and reaching for the remote. Too tired to protest Meredith let him flip through the channels. She put the ice cream down and watched Derek out the corner of her eye. He was tired his eyes said it all. The stubble on his face was growing fast, his usually kept hair was curly and untamed but it looked good. He just looked so tired and defeated.

"How's the house?" she asked deeming it a somewhat safe topic.

"It's good. Five bedrooms three and a half baths, with an amazing backyard for Mallory and Doc to run in." he smiled half-heartedly. Meredith nodded.

"Sounds great." She replied running a hand through her hair. She looked over at him and he caught her starring. Derek picked up her hand and kissed it barely smiling. Meredith pulled back focusing her gaze elsewhere.

"Why did you sleep with me?" she asked quietly. Derek sighed rubbing his eyes. The chirping of her cell phone intervened preventing Derek from answering. Meredith sighed flipping it open.

"Hello?"

"Hey Meredith." Mike spoke into the phone.

"Hi Mike." She smiled twirling her hair on her finger. Derek noticed the schoolgirl behavior and strained his ear trying to hear Mike's part of the conversation.

"What are you up to?" he asked her.

"Oh nothing just watching some television. What are you doing?" Meredith flirted back.

"I was just walking through my apartment and you came to mind. I really had a great time talking with you at the bar."

"Me too." She replied sincerely. It was nice being attracted to someone who had no previous knowledge of your past and current relationships.

"So why don't you let me take you out for dinner sometime?" he pressed.

"I don't know." Meredith said stealing a glance at Derek. His jaw line was tight and his body language was tense a sure sign that he was jealous.

"Mike, I'm really busy for the next few weeks why don't you call me back later and we'll try and plan something."

"I could do that or I could keep calling you. It's more romantic this way." He laughed.

"Goodnight Mike."

"Goodnight Meredith." She closed the phone and looked over at Derek who was still obviously upset about her little phone conversation. The nerve of him! How did he think she felt whenever he kissed Addison right in front of her or used little pet names like "sweetie"  
or "hun"?

"What is your problem?" she asked.

"Nothing don't let me keep you from Mike." He replied flipping through some more channels.

"You find anything you like?"

"No, but apparently you have." Derek muttered.

Meredith stood up livid about his little comment. "Get out of my house." She yelled.

"Meredith?"

"You are impossible, you sleep with me once knocking me up and you still stay with your wife. You sleep with me again you don't want to discuss it but get mad when another man takes interest in me. You want me but don't want anyone else to want me, and to top it off you refuse to leave your wife. Talk about having your cake and eating it too. So I'm gonna ask you again, what is your problem?" Meredith finished.

Derek sighed opening his mouth to speak. He stood up, "It's complicated."

"No. Not really." Derek brought his hand to touch and she grabbed it pulling it away from her face.

"You should leave before you do anything you regret." He sighed again and grabbed his coat walking to the front door.

"I never regretted a moment when we were together." Derek said softly and turned to leave.

Pulling up to his trailer Derek surveyed the construction of his house. It really was a beautiful home. He thought that he should name it like Monticello or something; it was sitting on all of this land that was as big as the Kennedy compound in Hyannis Port. There was an unfamiliar car still parked near the site, 'Must be on of the guys working late', he thought pulling his key out of the ignition. He walked up to the trailer listening to the sounds of Addison's laughter. Derek had to admit the sound of her laugh was a sign of her being happy something he wasn't use to which kind of made him happy. She must have been watching Conan or talking to a friend from Manhattan. He entered the trailer and was met with the all to familiar scene of a man's jacket that wasn't his. In fact it was a very familiar jacket that belonged to his ex best friend. He picked it up and made his way to the bedroom there he stopped dead in his tracks as he caught glimpses of their naked entangled limbs. Addison was the first to see him out the corner of her eye.

"Derek!" she said quickly clutching the sheet to her chest. He threw the jacket at the owner shaking his head in anger.

"Mark, I believe this is yours."


	9. Chapter 9

Derek ran up the stairs of Meredith's house breathing hard. He leaned against the glass of the door trying to erase the images of his best friend and wife in the throes of passion. How could this have happened to him again? Was he really neglecting Addy that much for her to seek comfort in the arms of his best friend? Again? He was an awful husband. Sleeping with Meredith twice and failing to discuss it with either woman, he had to be the world's lowest person. He felt like scum, the lowest form of scum in the world. Derek beat his head against the door until he felt the presence of another person on the other side.

"Derek?" Meredith said wrapping her long sweater around her body. The soft pitter-patter of the rain beat against the roof filling the room with its steady rhythm.

"Derek?" she asked again frightened at his behavior and lack of response. He moved away from the door allowing her to open it and invite him in. Lethargically, he escaped the rain stepping into the warm house. Meredith wrapped the sweater tighter around her body not wanting Derek to find her wearing his blue oxford shirt. His wet fingertips danced across her face as he slid them behind her neck drawing him close to him.

"We can't." she said firmly relishing his touch. Derek nodded mutely dropping his hand from her face.

"Go home. Get some rest." She offered.

"Addison, cheated on me." He blurted out. "She cheated on me again. Why?" he paused keeping his tears in. "Because I neglected her, because I was too busy pursuing you and flirting with you to notice that she was hurting inside. If there was any doubt that I pushed her away the first time there isn't any here. And then you kept asking me why I wouldn't leave Addison and live my life with you and our daughter. It's because I was afraid that I would do the very same thing that I did to Addison to you. I was afraid I would keep you at arms length and focus on my patients and surgeries." He chuckled shook his head and found his voice again. "The best part is that she did it with Mark. When the hell did he come back into town?"

Meredith stood there silently taking all of it in trying to be as supportive as she could. Her nimble fingers slipped under his waterlogged jacket and pulled it off. "'Dinner with an old friend.'" He murmured but was quieted by Meredith's shushing. She brought her hands to the hem of his equally wet t-shirt and pulled it over his head. His pants came next clattering on the floor nosily as the belt buckle fell. There he stood in Meredith's doorway dressed in his boxers.

"Here." She shrugged off her sweater and began to unbutton the buttons of his shirt.

"No." he protested when she handed it.

"Wear it, that's the thing about living here you have your own clothes whenever you need them." Reluctantly he took the shirt putting it on.

"Do you want to crash here?" she asked. He looked into her eyes searching for the right answer.

"If that's alright with you." Meredith nodded and took his hand leading him to her bedroom. Once they got there Meredith searched her dresser for a shirt to wear. She pulled a small white t-shirt on and slid under the covers. Derek watched her as if it were completely normal for the two of them to be getting ready for bed together. He joined her in bed and turned of the lamp. Meredith brought her hand to his chest and timidly cuddled into his cold body. She rubbed her toes against his calves trying to warm him up. Derek sighed happily as he brought his hand to her rear cupping it gently turning her into him further. She pressed wet kisses against his neck attempting to soothe his pain.

"George there can be many explanations as to why McDreamy's car is parked outside." Izzie said as she joined him at the table. She brought her coffee cup to her lips and took a sip, wondering how Meredith was going to explain this one to them.

"She can't keep doing this. He can't keep doing this, it's really screwing with her." George expressed his concern. "Especially for Mallory, she may not understand it now but when she gets older things will be all the more complicated." He pointed out as Izzie nodded in agreement.

Interrupting their conversation Meredith entered the kitchen pushing past the swinging door. She greeted her two roommates with a small smile and opened the cupboard grabbing a cup and filling it with coffee. She turned and was met with their expectant faces waiting for her to explain Derek's presence.

"I can't, it's complicated. So can you please not say anything to anyone just yet?" she pleaded. George nodded nudging Izzie to oblige.

"Okay our lips are sealed." She said.

"Thanks, um you should probably leave without me I'm coming in late this morning. Eighty hour limit." She explained.

"Yeah I'll be done by noon." Izzie replied. She smiled at her two friends and quietly exited the kitchen. Meredith walked into her bedroom and found Derek still asleep. It took her about ten minutes to free herself from his grasp without waking him up. In her absence she left her pillow, which he had cuddled up to in a cute manner. She laughed and put her cup down to go check on Mallory. The little girl was already up standing in her crib. Her blue eyes sparkled as she saw her mommy walk into the room. She put her arms out wanting to be held. Meredith scooped her up kissing her forehead.

"Hey sweetie, do you wanna see daddy?" she asked taking her into her room. Mallory mumbled incoherently as they entered the room.

"There's daddy." Meredith whispered as she put Mallory on the bed. She crawled over to Derek and tugged at his nose slapping his face lightly. Derek shifted in his sleep and awoke to the drooling face of his adorable nine-month-old daughter.

"Hey Mal," he whispered groggily rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Meredith smiled watching their interaction. Her breath came short at the thought that they might be sharing more moments like this. There was no doubt that Addison's betrayal and Derek's recent bout of infidelity had forced their marriage to a turning point. He really needed to reevaluate his relationship with Addison before they could pursue anything.

"What time are you going in today?" Meredith asked interrupting their bonding session.

"Ten." He answered, looking Meredith in the eyes.

"I'm going in at nine." She replied running a hand through her hair.

"Okay. I'll take care of her." He said picking Mallory up. "Go get ready, I'll fix you some breakfast." Meredith smiled softly; as she passed Derek on her way to the bathroom he grabbed her arm. She looked into his face with a questioning glance; Derek bent down and brushed his lips across hers.

"Thank you." He said letting go of her arm and leaving the room. Meredith brought a hand to her face feeling the growing warmth in her cheeks.

"Your welcome." She answered back to the empty room.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's note: Thanks for all the great reviews! Unfortunately this is the last chapter but don't worry I'm already working on a sequel. So enjoy!

* * *

"Derek you haven't answered any of my phone c

alls!" Addison said as she approached him. He opened the door to his bmw and unbuckled Mallory from her car seat.

"Oh," she said as he held her to his side and closed the door.

"Not now Addison." He replied walking to the front door.

"Then when Derek, when?" she hissed catching up to him and facing him as he stopped walking.

"Maybe when I'm not carrying my nine-month-old daughter in my arms and we're not in public." He answered blowing completely past her. Addison sighed leaning against a pole and breathing hard.

"She seems…happier." Izzie whispered to George as they made their rounds. "Do you think that thing that happened with McDreamy was good?"

"Good, definitely good." He responded as Meredith gave a warm smile to a pregnant patient.

"Who's presenting?" Bailey asked as Meredith opened up the patient's chart. "Emily Ford, post op day two recovering from a surgery correcting TTTS Twin Twin Transfusion Syndrome."

"Good, now who is the surgeon on this case?" Bailey asked taking the chart from Meredith.

"Sorry Dr. Bailey, I was having some…car problems." She said as she entered the room glancing at Meredith.

"Grey you're on this case." Bailey assigned handing the chart back to her.

"So were there some complications with the surgery?" Emily asked trying to sit up in the bed.

"Easy there, it still appears that one of the twins is still not receiving as much blood as he should be, some I'm just gonna go in there a second time and correct it again." She smiled touching her shoulder gently.

"If you have any questions you can ask Dr. Grey." She said leaving the room. Izzie took note that her eyes were red and puffy, probably from crying.

"Awkward." Izzie murmured as the walked into the next room.

"You paged me." Meredith said approaching Addison.

"Yes I wanted to know if you scheduled the surgery?"

"I did, but I can't scrub in. My shift is over and I can't really afford to miss the time with Mallory." She explained softly.

"I remember that was one of the reasons Derek and I decided to not have kids, at first." She began, ignoring Meredith's body language when she tensed at the mention of his name.

"Derek didn't want children to interfere with his career, he was a hot shot doctor. He thought that kids would surely be a detour. So we put it off. Then, after I started to see all of my girlfriends gushing over what Tommy did that morning or what Samantha said I realized that I wanted that. I wanted to have a little boy with Derek's blue eyes and his amazing hair. So we started to try and after a few months I started to get worried. Derek suggested that we get tested just to soothe my fears. Then I discovered that I was the real problem and that Derek was completely fine. It hurt like hell, because I couldn't give Derek the one thing he really wanted. Sure it took some convincing but he opened up to the idea. I would catch him in Peds cooing at the babies and sometimes holding the ones without mothers. So when he learned that he wouldn't be able to have his own he grew distant. We both did. He spent more time at the hospital and I started spending more time with Mark. And I take it you know the rest from there." She finished putting her hands in her lab coat.

"Why," Meredith asked. "why are you telling me all of this?" Addison gave her a small smile.

"Derek isn't the kind of guy who just leaves his wife of eleven years without a really good reason. So all that time he was spending with me, he was trying to figure out how deep his feelings for you were. You've given him everything I possibly couldn't give him." She put a hand on Meredith's shoulder.

"Goodbye Meredith, take care of him." Addison walked off. She bumped into Cristina and asking her if she wanted to scrub in. She nodded eagerly but in a very un-Cristina like fashion looked to Meredith for the okay. She laughed brushing a tear away and nodded.

Meredith ran up the stairs and pushed her front door open. The sound of the television and her friend's chatter filled the room as she looked around for Derek.

"Hey Mer." Izzie said walking out of the living room.

"Hey, where's-"

"Derek's in the kitchen." She said nodding her head towards the door. Meredith smiled gratefully and pushed past the revolving door. George jumped up from the couch fighting for listening space with Izzie.

"Hi there." She said as she watched him prepare dinner. "Where's Mallory?" Derek smiled as she walked over to him looking inside the pot. He kissed her mouth quickly and stirred the pasta sauce.

"She's sleeping Izzie said she'd watch her for us tonight."

"Why?"

"We are celebrating." He explained.

"Celebrating? What are we celebrating?" He fished a black velvet box out of his pocket and put it down on the counter.

"Our engagement." He smiled slyly. Meredith, with trembling fingers, picked up the box and opened it to reveal a gorgeous 2.1-karat diamond ring. She snapped it shut quickly and slammed it down on the counter.

"What?" he asked turning to her.

"No. What is this?" she asked gesturing between the two of them. "Before you can call me your wife you need to tell me why you really didn't want to leave your other wife." She stood there with her arms crossed in front of her. There was no way she was going to let him get off this easily.

Derek sighed rubbing his temple. "I just couldn't leave. I was somewhat comfortable with our little arrangement. I knew that she couldn't possibly leave me or cheat on me again. But with you, we had always been unpredictable and like I told you before I was afraid that I would push you away. That I would make you run into the arms of another man." Meredith digested this all picking up the box and pushing it against his chest. He looked at her with alarm.

"If you're gonna propose to me do it right." She said. Derek let out an uneasy laugh and dropped onto one knee.

"Meredith Grey, love of my life and mother of my children will you marry me?" he asked already slipping the ring onto her finger. Meredith smiled joining him on the floor.

"Yes." She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck bringing her mouth to his and kissing him soundly. "But, if you ever cheat on me I'll kick your ass." Meredith said kissing him again.

"That won't be a problem."

"Wait you said 'mother of your children'? Is there something that I should know about but I don't?" Derek laughed again lifting them both up from the floor.

"No. But I was hoping we could work on that."

Fin.


End file.
